late breaking news from mexico, it seems as though tracfone has taken a hostage. at the seen is our hispanic reporter Juan.
Juan: Thanks. it would appear as though Tracfone has gotten very desperate for attention in what it calls it's "forum". we are left to assume that is a gay reference...
Tracfone shouting over the chopper sounds: F*** you! I was going to be a forum contender! then everyone left! apparently finding out if the word *** (if this does get filtered, the word is a term for gay people)can be turned into asterisks is more important!
Juan: So yes it is a gay reference.
Police: Tracfone, put down the hostage and we won't harm your "forum".
Juan: Tracfone is bringing the hostage to the window. oh my God! it's ray rom...
(continues)
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Juan: Juan here! it would appear as though Tracfone has another hostage! ruler of the free world candidate Kermit T. Frog has been confirmed captured by Tracfone. It would appear in Kermits misery at losing the ROTFW election he tried turning to Jesus, who kicked him in the tadpoles. Jesus was also upset at losing, demanding a recount. Kermit then went home and in desperation sold his soul to the devil. who then leased him to tracfone for purposes of this stand-off. Tracfone has a contract with Satan which allows him to borrow against his 401K (the souls that he reaped through cellular service which are now confined to hell). We'll report with more as it unravells.
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😈 where can i sign up to kill Kermit?
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It's time to get things started on the Muppet show tonight
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the Swedish chef was the real star
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i liked him too. but if you would prefer to have kermit die perhaps a reporter will notify us of someone dying to prove a point? hint.
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G-rad
Dec 6, 2005, 6:37 PM
This is Hugh Coc reporting from the whit house The fence jumper Mr. cox from arkansas IS now confessing that he was there under the power of the alien known as Tracfone. His mission To remove Gw's Head out of his ass and replace it with a TRACFONE!
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Thanks Hugh. more on this story as it develops
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"IPTV mexican reporter Juan has been shot outside a standoff involving self-proclaimed Demi-God Tracfone. when asked for comments IPTV said 'who's Jua... oh him? he got shot? well F*** man, we're not CNN. how were we supposed to kno... He worked for us? oh. we would like to send our regards to his loving fam... he's not dead. F***. turn off that microphone.' more details to follow.
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Juan: This is Juan! YOU HEAR THAT YOU BASTARD? THIS IS JUAN! Tracfone can't kill me. HEY RAY ROMANO AND KERMIT - TRY NOT TO DIE, AMP'D MOBILE IS COMING! F*** YOU TRACFONE! back to you mike.
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LOL! u guys are dumb 🤣
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Tracfone...you can have Ray but please I love fuzzy little green things don't hurt Kermit...I wonder is it listening to me?
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Tracfone hears and sees all. your request will be given consideration.
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Oh thank you all mighty Tracfone what may I give you as my most humble offerring?
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souls only. no returns.
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I've lost mine I work for Cingular.
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sorry, we can't accept tainted souls. however a first born child or something that breathes and is of similar weight (Tracfone likes a good 7-8lb. lunch) can be accepted.
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I don't have any kids me and my partner haven't had luck....how about a cat a nice juicy cat
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shave it first. hair in Tracfones teeth is one of it's pet peeves
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who says I don't shave it...oh you mean the cat sure no problem.
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man that is between you and your "partner". however i now feel we have bonded on a whole other level. if i get out of this warzone alive i'll look you up.
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🤠I'm looking forward to it
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and u can keep trying I don't u can have kids that way 🙄
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