is that asking too much of you? i suppose you don't have to, but what if tracfone didn't go out of his way for us? think about it. right now he's working overtime trying to roll out an awesome new feature for us. wrap your head around this one - real music ringtones. no more midi jingle!

Well, I knew that Tracfone would call his son to the Tracfonian after-phone-life eventually, but I assumed that Tracfone was ok with the hourly prayers and sacrifices. I didn't know Tracfone needed fanfare too. What the hell?




😳



Sorry Tracfone, forgive me for questioning your ways.

I humbly except this most honorable position. I vow to spread the word of Tracfone and not to rest until all of mankind is brought into its network or they're all sacrificed.

Sir I salute you.